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Heroes vs. Villains/Transcript
opens with the title card song, then Fanboy and Chum Chum reading a "Man-Arctica vs. Global Warmer" comic Fanboy and Chum Chum: wimpering Whoa! laughing Ooh/Oh, oh! chatter Awesome! Best issue ever! out to show them hanging upside down on the monkey bars. They fall off Chum Chum: Man, did you see how Man-Arctica was like, "pa-pow-pow, pa-po-pow-pow"? Fanboy: Yeah, but then, Global Warmer was all like, "Pew-pew-pew-pew, pew-pew, pe-pe-pew"! Chum Chum: And then, Man-Arctica did the old... ice breath Fanboy: Yeah, but then, Global Warmer escaped! leaves Chum Chum: But not before Man-Arctica thwarted his evil plan! POW! begin to gather round Fanboy and Chum Chum: Man, it would be so cool to be a super... Fanboy: Villain! Chum Chum: Hero! Fanboy and Chum Chum: gasp music, we see an earth planet break in half Joey: the camera They disagree! Fanboy: mockingly Uh, I'm sorry. Did you just say you'd rather be a hero than a villain? Chum Chum: Of course. Wouldn't anyone? Fanboy: Uh, not anyone who's a fan of awesome equipment, heh! Which villains have the best of! Case in point... Duke/Lupe/Cher/Chris Chuggy/Chum Chum: Ooh! Fanboy: These Global Warmer Turbo Shoes. They put the "fast" in "fast-shion" Pow! Pow! Chicka-chicka. OH, YEAH. Fankylechum/Duke/Lupe/Cher/Chris Chuggy/Joey: Wow. Chum Chum: Well, super''heroes'' don't need equipment. They have something called super''powers'', like super speed. Pew-wep! I just ran around the world. Did it again. Did it again. Did it again. Did it again. Did it again. Cher/Yo/Chris Chuggy: Whoa! Joey: Ooh! That's fast! Fanboy: Uh-uh! You just stood there and twitched slightly. Chum Chum: Or did I run so fast you couldn't see? Fanboy/Yo/Cher/Joey: Ohhhhh! students come Fanboy: Yeah? Well, I have supervillain lightning punch, and I just hit you like, a thousand times. Nancy/Duke/Lupe/Yo/Cher: Wow! Chum Chum: No, you didn't, 'cause I have superhero reflexes, and I dodged them all...twice. So, superheroes are still better than super''villains''. Fanboy: laughs Oh, really? Well, why don't we ask the greatest supervillain the world has ever known-ah?! music plays as Kyle appears from smoke, laughing mainically while everyone backs away Kyle: At last...you have come to pay homage, to the true ma -- grabbed Huh? Fanboy: Kyle away 'Cuse me, Kyle, got a villain to talk to. the string of a Crabulous action figure What say you, Crabulous? Crabulous: Crabulous is bathtub safe. Chum Chum: Mmm! Very intimidating. Fanboy: He's deadly to dirt. Yo/Duke/Lupe: Ooh! Chum Chum: superhero voice Maybe it's about time we settled this once, and for all! Fanboy: menacingly Let's DO...IT. Da-na-na-na-na! episode transforms into that of a superhero cartoon Narrator: Meanwhile, at the Jungle Gym of Justice... Captain Obvious: Calling Super Chum! Come in, Super Chum! Chum appears on the Chum-puter, on the "moon" holding a flag Super Chum: I'm...on my way. over to the Chum-puter I'm here! What is it, Captain Obvious? Captain Obvious: The Trouble Light's blinking! Super Chum: Thank you, Captain Obvious. Captain Obvious: That means there's trouble! is flashing on the Chum-puter Super Chum: It sure does. The Chum Phone is dead, and we're getting nothing from the Chum-puter. gasp And someone's taken our "Chumky" peanut butter. "Chumthing's" amiss. alarm Huh? appears on the Chum-puter Fannihilator: laughing Greetings, Super Chum. It is I, your archenemy, the Fannihilator. Captain Obvious: It's the Fannihilator, your archenemy! Super Chum: Correct as usual, Captain Obvious. Fannihilator So, Fannihilator, perhaps you can shed some light on my missing peanut butter. Fannihilator: mouth full Mmm, I don't know what you're talking about. Super Chum: Then, why are you talking like you have peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth? Fannihilator: Ugh! Henchman, milk! jumps into the scene Kyle: I'm not your henchman. gets ready with two milk squirters Kyle: Now, do you want whole milk or non fat? fires up his Plasmagammulator Kyle: Ah! Fannihilator: TWO PERCENT! pours the milk and wimpers Fannihilator: Thanks! Hold this. his Plasmagammulator to Kyle Kyle: Ah! Uh! Ooh! Ah! himself OHHHH! Super Chum: Cut to the chase, Fannihilator! Fannihilator: gulping Ah. I've devised a diabolical dilemma that will prove once and for all that villains are smarter, and better, and handsomer than heroes. laughs presses a remote to show a bus full of children on a thin rock block over lava Super Chum: What do you make of this, Captain Obvious? Captain Obvious: That bus is hanging over lava! Super Chum: And? Captain Obvious: Lava's hot! Super Chum: Great Scott! You're right, I've got to save those kids! on Chum-puter switches back to Fannihilator Fannihilator: Indeed, Super Chum. But if you do, you won't have time to save... presses a remote to show Yois dangling from a rope over a mob of angry bears Fannihilator: The beautiful girl reporter Yois Yane, whom you secretly like! scratch Yois: Wait, did you say he likes me? Super Chum: Whoa! Uh, I don't like her, like her, I just, like, like her. oohs Fannihilator: Ooh! You like Yois! Super Chum: Do not. Fannihilator: Do too! Super Chum: Do not. Fannihilator: Do too, no takebacks! Super Chum: No! The dreaded no takebacks. Fannihilator: So, who will you save, Super Chum? The innocent children, or your little lover girl? laughs Chum-puter turns off Captain Obvious: Looks like the villain's got you beat. Super Chum: Yes, Captain Obvious. Or...does he? CHUP-CHUP AND AWAY! Chum leaves the Jungle Gym of Justice and flies to the desert. The bus falls off the rock and is about to hit the lava, but Super Chum catches it Fannihilator: So, you chose the children. Well, I guess my bears will be enjoying your...honey? is still on the rope panting. The rope breaks and she falls into the bears Fannihilator: laughter Score one for the villains! Ah! Super Chum: Wipe off your pernicious points, Fannihilator. You forget that I can control animals, with my mind. animal mind control power Fannihilator: Whoa! bears are affected. They perform a funny dance with Yois Yois: Thank you, Super Chum! I owe you a romantic dinner at my favorite restaurant! oohs Super Chum: the camera Hey, hey, hey. I did it...for justice. Yois: Ohhhh! Chum goes over to Fannihilator and puts down the bus Fannihilator: I suppose you think you've defeated me, but what you don't know is...that bus is full of my clones! clap Clones: chuckling cling to Super Chum Super Chum: That's no problem! I can defeat them all with Super Sweat! sweats Clones: screaming Fannihilator: Yah, but I have a little surprise for you. Guess what my four handsomest clones have formed? clones -- all named Justin, appear on the bus roof Super Chum: Not -- Fannihilator: Yes, your greatest weakness: a boy band! Justin 1: 'Sup? I'm Justin. Justin 2: I'm Justin, too. Justin 3: I'm also Justin. All: We're Just Justins. (Song: Just Justins) We're Just Justins Justin ti-ime To beat the hero Instowable cri-ime of song has dialogue under Being Justins What we do-ooo We'll put those prisoners In bed just for yo-ou until Super Chum stops them Super Chum: OH! Sugary...top 40 pop...don't want to dance, but...rhythm...is...moving...me! Fannihilator: the camera And that is why villains are better than heroes, because heroes always have a weakness. HENCHMAN!!! stomps into the scene Kyle: I am NOT your henchman! What do you want? Fannihilator: One of my ultra-mega death rays! Ugh! It's time to finish this do-gooder, for do-good. mainically Kyle: Of, course. two death rays Now, will it be the slow death ray, or the quick and painful? Fannihilator: Mmm...surprise me. I don't want to know till I fire it. Narrator: Could this be the end of Super Chum, or will he think of a way out? pause Ahem. I said, "Will he think of a way out?" Super Chum: I just thought of a way out! If I could...just...summon...one punch. Chum punches the bus, sending it far away Fannihilator: DAH! MY JUSTINS! Super Chum: You should've known, Fannihilator. Boy bands are always a one-hit wonder. bus explodes behind him I did it...for justice. Fannihilator: That tears it! There's only one way to settle this... Fannihilator and Super Chum: Super Battle! Super Chum: I summon the Super Chums! Sonic Boom! Boom jumps into the scene Sonic Boom: WAAAAA! echo Super Chum: School Spirit! steams, and School Spirit appears School Spirit: Ready? Okay! Let's...fight! Hey! Super Chum: And Captain Obvious! Captain Obvious: a tricycle I'm also on the team! Fannihilator: Well, I'' summon my League of Destruction-ah! ''ground rumbles and flies buzz. Ant Lupe appears Ant Lupe: Ant Lupe! I will ruin your picnic. Nerd comes by Huge Nerd: Huge Nerd! grows GROW EXPONENTIAL-AL-ALY! I CALCULATE THAT I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL! to crush the Super Chums Crushy, crushy, crushy, crushy. Fannihilator: Kyle And Henchman, with Stick! gives a grumpy frown Kyle: It's a wand! Oh, why do I bother? Super Chum: Let this be our final battle! and his team jump Fannihilator: You are! and his team jump teams charge against each other. Camera switches back and fourth between them twice, zooming in on the second switch. We see both teams fly into the picture. They are about to plow into each other when... hear the sound of a bell ring. Episode switches back to the actual show's setting on the school playground. The kids were imagining everything Hank: Recess is over! Everyone, back to class. but Fanboy and Chum Chum walk into the school Chum Chum: You know, come to think of it, heroes and villains are both pretty cool. Fanboy: You said it, old Chum. I know there's one thing we can agree on. It sure would be great to have superpowers. Chum Chum: Yep, I bet it would. walk into the school. Just as the door closes, the boy band from earlier comes back (Song: Just Justins (reprise)) We're Just Justins Justin Ti-ime Justin with lemon And Justin with li-ime Chum opens the door and zaps the band with his heat vision, sending them away. The Justins scream Chum Chum: For justice. Category:Transcripts